June 29, 1998

Out of our Minds

Plain Jane Turmoil
So far away how could I even think it
How come its always gotta be like that?
And parents are supposed to help,
To be the guiding light of reason,
Not to add another saddle to my burro.

June 25, 1998

Lost in a Crowd

Tallest among us, yet most vulnerable
Lizard in hand, flailing
Mixed up elbows and beltlines
Hurt more than we'd like

A day full of missed photo opportunities
Waiting for a chance at failure
Experiencing the electric buzz
Of a party balloon

Convicted of waywardness
Dropping gazes conveniently
Regardless of intent

The ground beneath my feet
Cemented on me
Dripping off

Love 'em, hate 'em
Jump anyway

Love 'em, ignore 'em
Why stare

Swimming in sweet 16

June 22, 1998

Wendy's Eyebrows take the cake

Always
Awe-inspires
Agreeing with me
Against her better judgement
Accepting what she can't do
And excited about what she can
Any day now she'll realize
Any day she'll notice
And say nothing
About it
Anyway
Gotta keep looking at her dark eyebrows
Have to show her more respect than that.


"From the day we had a meeting at Ellen and Genzo's
and ordered from Domino's
and Sue W. made the cake
and Wendy was hungry
and I wasn't."

June 21, 1998

Regarding My Father

Who makes me cry
and loves me
Who frightens me
and makes me feel secure
Who angers me
and makes me grin at heart
Who misses me
and whom I don't miss
Who stifles my joy
and on occasion causes it
Who is selfless
and selfish
Who is getting older
and wishes to be young
Who wants to do it all
and tries
Who thinks he can
and fails
Who regrets his failure
and makes things worse
Who is my father
Whom I love.

June 20, 1998

Losing Christine

Your high road and mine for miles
And miles denied the small divide between them
Wider yet and wider still diverged
You rose as we walked along
Still in eyesight
Still in earshot
Sometimes
When the trees didn't get in the way
I could see you dancing
Up there
Way up
I could make out your shape twirling
A shape
A shame
Your high road and mine for miles
And miles denied the great divide between us
Higher yet and higher still you climbed
With help
You climbed a path above a cliff I could
Barely even look up
Much less climb
Much less still see you
Much less remember to look
Much less.

June 19, 1998

When I see Edye

Don't know what I'm gonna do tomorow.
Will I know her when I see her?
6 long years or is it 8 I'll never know the difference.

Will my head spin, will I chill or feel a little queasy?
Don't know where she's been all my life
Except for one short day.

Dancing on a pinhead. was she
Stapled to the floor I don't know
Will she be my long lost friend
Or just a pleasant stranger
When I see her when I see
Edye

Wine and dine and say "I missed you"
Lie or tell the truth
That I only think about her when I hear the word Vermont
And sometimes not even then.
I can see it now.
On a rainy day. I can see it. I can see
Edye

"Edye was from Vermont. I secretly taught her to drive when she was 14. Didn't see her for a long time. I thought I was going to meet up with her in Brattleboro, but she lived near Burlington so it didn't happen."

June 18, 1998

Grasping at Fundamentals

Anti-anything if it's poetic enough to be so
And pro- just the same
The duality, triality, quadrality all at once
With heels

Post-everything before its time has come
And Pre-reality
The freedom, mirth, rebellion of youth
Gone wayward

Plug me in and get me going
Leave me alone
Glad you're here
Now go away
You'll never understand what it is to be me
Just like you once were, only now.

What is beauty? Who is the beholder?
What is beauty and what is sin?
what is beauty and how long 'til forever?
What is beauty and why hasn't anyone whispered it in my eye?

Un-everythig, seeing its future
And Re-everything just like before
Like home, like home, like somewhere revealing
Still pride

June 17, 1998

Courtney Has a Band

She smiles with her face
And it means she knows something
Important
You don't

She gets that ugly look for a split second
That you get when you don't know a picture is being taken of you
But she knew
He was

The guy with the middle finger and
Phallic drum, closed eyes and sideburns
I never knew
I didn't
I pretended to look at them all but she
Smiled anyway and lulled me to death
Like she knew
She could

I looked with out looking
And either she knew it all
Or
She didn't