2.5/30 Scathingly Bad Haiku

A joke I heard from David Sedaris this week (in haiku):

Doctor says, "You've got..."

"Cancer... and Alzheimer's." Wow.

Least it's not cancer.

When you "walk" your dog

You know what it's gonna... doo.

His yard? Nah, leave it.

Your diaper box says

These are super absorbant.

Yeah, my shirt is too.

Harry Potter walks

in on Dumbledore naked

and is scarred for life.

On "Do-it-yourself"

Projects, I have my T's crossed.

Still always need help.

Ninja slam costume

suit, mask, nunchuks... April fools?

Damn you, McKendy!

(Matt Richards, Sam Tietel, Tim Veilleux, Mark Palos, whoever else needs taunting.)

Westboro Baptist

Church gets more press than poets.

We need dumber signs.

Guys with prosthetic

legs who live in glass houses

shouldn't throw legs, man.

Chore list while she's gone:

Can't find Swiffer pads. Only

Kotex wings. Floor's clean!

I have got issues

With old folks; driving; slowly;

Through storefronts; naked.

I forget this line

My memory is leaky.

Poetry is hard.