With Love from Ernie

*written for erotic poetry night at the Bridge
**Interspersed musical lyrics are a song by Jeff Moss

You know how I feel by now.
I've been singin' your song fo
What,
Going on 40 years
Nobody listens
They've read the internet rumors;
All thinking they know the score.
But they're all wrong
While baby we are oh so right
This time they'll know
The object of my affection
Has been you all along
Let me go draw a warm bubble bth for two
And slip into something more... comfortable

♫Rubber Ducky
You're the one
You make bath time
So much Fun
Rubber Ducky
I'm awfully fond of you♫

Surprised at the sound of my voice?
No, it;s not the fool they're used to.
But this is the voice you've grown to love
Not what they see on TV.
This is the real me.
Remember seeing Pee Wee Herman's mug shot?
They've got to know he used a stage voice.
But tonight, little ducky
I'm not acting anymore.
Let 'em believe what they like.

♫Rubber Ducky
Joy of joys
When I squeeze you, ooh,
You make noise
Rubber ducky
You're my very best "friend" it's true♫

They just don't understand
The benefits of this "friendship."
It's time they embraced it
Not that I've kept it a secret.
They were so eager to believe
I had a thing for my
Anal retentive roommate
Just because I eat cookies in his bed.

♫Every day when I
Make my way
To the tubby
I find a
Little Fella who's
Cute
Yellow
And... chubby!
Rub-a-dub-dubby!
♫

Forty years, you and I
Long enough for a common law marriage
And then some
If only they'd recognize our love in this state.
Sure, it's unorthodox, but
When it'a real, who's to question it?
And everyone knows
The right piece of rubber
Can spice up any relationship

♫Rubber ducky
You're so fine
And I love it
That you're mine
Rubber Ducky
I'm awfully fond of
Rubber Ducky
I'd like a whole pond of
Rubber Ducky (I don't even know her!)
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you...♫